Hey. So you’re thinking about how to get the one you love back? You’ve done the right thing by searching for answers. Here is my guide on how to get the one you love back.
Your Own Thoughts And Feelings Can Lead You To Do The Wrong Thing!
In many areas in life it is best to follow your gut feeling. This can be the WRONG approach to get them back.
Ask yourself a few questions:
- “Am I feeling in control right now?”
- “Am I happy right now?”
- “Am I thinking about other things other than them right now?”
If you answered “NO” to any of these questions it’s time to STOP listening to how you’re thinking and feeling. If you do not you will make the WRONG choices and YOU WON’T EVER GET THE ONE YOU LOVE BACK.
Let me give you an example: You know that aching desire you have to call your love right now? So you can just hear their voice… So you can just to let them hear you cry… Just so they KNOW you care. You may think that maybe you can find some magical words to convince your love to come back to you.
Deep down you have to realize that this will make you look needy and desperate but you still want to do it!
A big part how to get the one you love back is avoiding these kind of mistakes. If you’ve already made these mistakes it’s especially important that you start doing things right immediately. Try to not worry about the past mistakes and focus on doing what’s right.
It’s normal to want to beg and plead to get the one you love back to get them to come back. I know you care about them and couldn’t imagine your life without them. This begging and pleading is actually the worst thing you can do right now. They are in need of some space and you’re trying to take that away from them. In order to be truly caring for your love right now you have to respect their decision for space. Otherwise you risk pushing them away even further.
Think about it – if you would beg and plead when they break up with you – It’s The exact moment that they needs space and you’re using everything to try to get them closer to you. It’s the wrong time for it. Timing is very important.
Real love can only happen between two equals so that means they won’t take you back because they feel pity for you. The one you love must respect you and you must respect them.
This means that you will have to consciously act differently from the way that you’re feeling. This means you can’t trust your instincts on what to do. So now that you know you can’t trust your own confusing emotions. So now you know the basics of getting your love back!
If you’ve read anything else on this subject you’ve probably heard of the no contact rule. The no-contact rule is when you stop all communication between you and your love for 3 to 4 weeks after the breakup. Some people think this will create jealousy and to make them think you’re over them. This is not the right attitude. The no contact rule is over simplified of what you really need to be doing.
If you’re one of those people who can’t stop thinking about them, who feels out-of-control and full of sadness. You should do the no contact rule. This is because it allows you to stop making mistakes while you make the real game plan. Without a real game plan your chances to get your love back decreases. It will also give you space to get yourself emotionally under control before interacting with your love again.
There are some obvious problems to the no-contact rule. For example, what do you do if you have a class together? Are you suppose to completely ignore your love and act like they don’t exist? When you’re forced to be in the same room as someone you cannot not communicate. By acting like they don’t exist you’re giving off the WRONG signal.
How To Do The No Contact Rule Properly
When you first start the No Contact rule it is best to be respectful about it. If you decide to just stop responding and your love doesn’t know why it will make them angry. If you make them angry they won’t want to be with you. In order to do it correctly you need to send them a message first that says something along the lines of:
“I want you to know that I understand your need for space and it’s actually a good thing. I need space too. I won’t be contacting you for awhile but you also need to know that it’s not that I don’t have feelings for you anymore, I do. I just need to have my space for right now. I hope you understand.”
This will let them realize that you haven’t moved on from them and you still have feelings for them. That is a good thing. Also, when you tell other people what you intend to do, it actually makes you more likely to actually do it.
So what if your love has a class with you or some other activity that you absolutely MUST see them?
Well, this becomes a little more complicated. You don’t want to completely shun them but you don’t want to talk personally to them either. If you have to talk to them, avoid talking about anything emotional. If they bring it up just tell him this,
“Look, I was serious about what I said. I just need some space right now and you have to respect that. I don’t want to talk about anything like that.”
You will want to be friendly to him like you would be friendly to a guy you like as an acquaintance. This isn’t even the kind of acquaintance you want to spend much time around but someone you are nice to because you know hes a good person but you have nothing in common with and don’t feel emotionally comfortable with. So mostly you just avoid him until he says or does something and you kinda just give a smile and say very little. I have a strategy if it’s hard for you to act this way to him. First imagine a person that fits that role of the acquaintance in your life. Then when speaking to him imagine you’re speaking to that person and not your love.
You will want to be friendly to her like you would be friendly to a girl that you’re not attracted to at all. This is the kind of girl that you don’t even want to talk to but you think they’re an OK person. It’s the kind of girl you don’t want to share your personal stuff with. This girl is a girl you don’t hate but you just don’t really want to make the effort to be friends with. So you just smile if she makes an effort but mostly just brush her off. In order to make this work for you you have to employ a strategy. First imagine a person that fits that role in your life. Then when speaking to her imagine you’re speaking to that person and not your love.
So when you don’t have to see him how do you act?
The ONLY time you should contact your love during the no-contact period is if they text you. In that case you just say:
“I am serious about what I said. I need space right now. I don’t want to talk for awhile.”
Otherwise you just don’t text, call or communicate with your love in any way for 4 weeks.
What is the purpose of the no-contact rule?
There are many reasons why you need to do this. For one it gives you time to:
- Get control of yourself.
- Figure out your game plan.
- EDUCATE yourself about your specific situation and what to do about it.
Also, this strategy will show your love that you are a strong person that must be respected. It shows them that you’re not going to just come back to them because they call you back to them.
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