The answer is that it depends. If you do the no contact rule properly and in the right situation it will work. So does no contact work to get your ex back? YES!
The Basic strategy to the no contact with ex rule is this: Don’t contact your ex for 30 days.
No Contact With Ex Rule is a strategy that makes you scarce and unavailable. It is a method of getting your ex back that is very effective if used properly and in the right situation. It is not right for everyone. It is also just one of many methods to getting them back. It is not the cure all fix all solution. It’s just a good starting point for the majority of people. It’s not necessarily the best but it is the most talked about. It has its times when it is good and it’s time when it is bad. Also if this rule is done in the wrong way it will not work. If you think you can just do this one method to win her back you will probably fail. Be very careful to understand this rule properly.
Most programs explain this rule but none of them do it better than the ex recovery system.
When You SHOULD Apply The Rule:
- When you have been needy and have a large fear of losing them.
- When you have called a lot and texted a lot with very little response or no response.
- When you have done a lot of begging, pleading and crying.
- When you two have been doing an excessive amount of fighting.
When NOT To Use The Rule:
- When you have kids together.
- When you work together.
- When you go to school together.
- When your ex is showing that they might come back soon. For example: they tell you they love you and cry a lot because of the breakup.
- When you cheated and that caused the break-up. It’s best to do the rule for only a few days and then give a proper apology. Check out how to give a good apology: Here
If you are in the situation where you can’t use the rule. Try limiting your contact to professional and logistical conversations. Also, do not show disregard for them. You cannot let yourself hate them and you can not allow yourself to treat them poorly. You have to do your best to show that you are happy with the break up and you are glad to be free again to live your life your way.
Starting the No Contact Phase
Just send them a simple text or email that you know they will get that says something like this:
“Hey I just wanted to let you know that I need some time and space from you. It’s not that that I don’t have feelings for you anymore, I do. It is just that I want to take some time to think about everything.”
Then you start the no contact rule.
What to do during No Contact:
Check out the Getting Ready To Get Them Back ebook in the members only section.
It is very difficult to not contact your ex. So the most important thing to do is to stay strong and DO NOT CONTACT them. I think it feels like being a drug addict on withdraw. It is the most painful thing because all you want to do is call or text. Instead focus on doing these things:
- Get yourself together.
- Read How to Win Back Love
- Take care of things you may have neglected.
- Reflect about your relationship and come up with ways to fix the problems.
- Do anything you can to improve yourself whether it be getting in better shape, learning a new thing or picking up a new hobby.
- Set some new goals.
- Get the Ex Recovery System
- Take time off and make a list of everything you like about yourself.
- Stay busy doing something productive.
- Look for signs they want you back
You have to remember that your ex left for a reason. No contact does not fix the reason it only gives you time to figure it out and work on it. If you lose hope you will give up your chances to get your ex back. So stay focused on getting them back and do not let yourself fall into a rut. You need to keep happy and active. This is a time that talking will not help much. Do not bother to complain to your friends or family. It is time to sink back into yourself and think about everything.
Other Advantages Of No Contact
- It also gives your ex space to figure things out.
- It prevents you from doing the things that are causing the problem.
- It lets the drama and high tension calm down.
- It makes you seem like a stronger and more mysterious person.
- It makes your ex wonder what they have lost and that will make your ex curious about you.
No Contact Does Not Fix Your Problem And Does Not Get Them Back!
In order to get them back at some point you must contact them (duh). In order to do this properly you have to have spent the time during the the no contact phase properly.
If they contact you before the phase is over and the message is something plain and simple. I recommended that you respond with a message like this:
“Hey, I’m sorry but I was serious about needing time and space from you right now. I will contact you later”
If they say something like:
“Please I need to talk. I miss you and I’m sorry that I made so many mistakes. Please will you at least listen?”
I recommend that you listen to them and see where it goes.
So in order to break the rule you have to have a plan. You will have to have a good understanding of why things weren’t working out and why they broke up with you. You can find such a plan in my free e-book. Sign up below…
Check out my article on How to Get Your Ex Back